Out of our hands and into my uterus

Well, we've passed the final hurdle in the IVF process. This morning we transferred two textbook perfect embryos. Both were ICSI'd (and Jeff seems OK with this). Each has 200+ cells and has differentiated into the parts that will become that placenta and the part that will become the fetus. What a change from their eight-cell statuses just two days ago! I have pictures of our embryos that I will post as soon as I have a chance to scan them at work. Very cool.

The transfer went very smoothly- no issues whatsoever. We'll know by tomorrow how many blasts we will be freezing- it will be at least four, and perhaps as many as six. This is the best possible outcome we could have hoped for, and I am incredibly grateful.

It's interesting to enter into this next phase, in which they say there is virtually nothing you can do to impact the outcome of the cycle. If those embryos are going to hatch and implant, they will do so within the next day or two. While they don't recommend that I run any marathons or do any bull-riding (and I have no intention of doing either, IVF or no IVF), it's pretty much out of my hands. I will continue to do my evening shots of progesterone in oil (my butt is already sore, but I know this drill well) and will drinks tons and tons of gatorade as I am still at risk of OHSS. But that's it.

And gosh, that is hard for me! There is something about the routine of shots, ultrasounds, and blooddraws that gives you a sense of control. You're always doing something. So it is very strange to shift gears and be able to do nothing. But then again, I had better get used to it now, if I am hoping to endure another nine or so months of this!

That said, I feel less stressed than I have in past cycles. We've been successful this cycle- more successful than I ever would have imagined. Obviously I want it to result in a pregnancy. But I also know that it will happen in its time, and that I cannot be the judge of that. If this isn't to be our time, there will be a reason. Yes, I will be disappointed and sad- but the sadness will be fleeting. And if I do get pregnant, it will be only the beginning of a very, very long journey. My bags are packed and I'm ready to go, so I'll be ready once the adventure begins.